Barack Obama & Abraham Lincoln: A Bromance
by funnybunny16
Summary: Abraham Lincoln falls into a time portal and meets a man that will make his dreams come true.
1. Chapter 1-Getting Aquainted

Abraham Lincoln & Barack Obama Have Sex

THIS IS MY FIRST PREZ SMUT FANFIC. I WANT TO TRY IT AGAIN, BUT NEXT TIME THE PAIRINGS WILL PROBABLY BE **JOHN KENNEDY, GARY COLEMAN, AND BARNEY THE DINOSAUR**…SO LOOK FORWARD TO THAT! YEAH, LIKE, FAVORITE, AND COMMENT..AND ENJOY THE STORY LADIES AND GENTLEMAN…

The year is 1863, where Abraham Lincoln sits in the white house in his favorite chair by himself, looking gloomy as usual. He was trying his best to abolish slavery, dammit! He needed more respect! And there was also a goddamn war going on, and he needed more respects for that, too. He was tired, 6-foot-4 president.

"It sucks to be me right now!" Abe exclaimed. "There's a war going on, people hate me, I've got constipation, and my kids hate me. I don't wanna be here. My wife just chased me around the whitehouse with a knife in her hand. I hate her! I hate her!"

A lightning storm began brewing, making Abraham Lincoln smile. He loved this kind of stuff.

He sighed and relaxed in his chair, thinking about the war. It was making him impatient, but he had a feeling it was coming close to an end. But that's not all he was thinking about. He was thinking about the weirdest thing that ever happened to him in his life. And it happened while he and his wife were having intercourse…

_**FLASHBACK**_

"_Give me some of that tasty dick!" screamed Mary Lincoln before she impaled herself on Lincoln's erect four-incher._

"_Oh Abe, yes!" cried Mary Lincoln as she rode his dick. She howled in ecstasy as her hubby's dick penetrated her uterus and rubbed against her cervical labial and vaginal walls._

"_Oh yeah, Mary!" he had cried out. "I-I'm on the brink!"_

_Suddenly, the door swung open, to reveal their shocked, gaping sons, Robert and Tad. Robert's mustache twitched in a strange fashion while Tad looked in interest to see his mom riding his dad's dick._

"_Whoa!" the nine year old exclaimed. "That's some crazy shit! I thought you guys were getting attacked! You guys sure are loud!"_

"_Get out!" screamed Mary Lincoln, jumping off of Abe's dick. "How dare you barge in?"_

"_The door was open, mom."_

"_Get out!" Mary Lincoln screamed._

"_But mom-_

"_**GET OUT YOU FUCKERS!" **__screamed Mary Lincoln grabbing a broom. "__**GET THE FUCK OUT, NOW!"**_ _As she walked toward her children holding the broom in her hand, her gigantic fat tits jiggled like jell-o, making Tad giggle._

"_Geez, mom," said Tad. "You could walk with your tits!"_

"_**SHUDDAP MUTHAFUCKA!" **__screamed Mary Lincoln, taking a swipe at the broom. Tad screamed and ran out of the room._

_Robert stared at his naked parents in shock before turning around and letting the biggest, juiciest fart anybody could ever hear._

"_Did you just shit yourself?" asked Mary Lincoln._

"_Oh goddamn…" Robert said whinily before leaving the room, closing the door behind him._

"_Damn!" cried Mary Lincoln. "Looks like Robert has swamp-ass."_

_And then they finished the night with Mary Lincoln riding his dick and projectile-lactating all over the walls in orgasm._

_**END OF FLASHBACK**_

What a night that was. Secretly, Abe enjoyed the moment when his kids barged in on he and his wife fucking. Yes, it was weird, but it was cool in some weird way.

Suddenly, something weirder happened. A dark aura filled the room, and in the center of the aura was a dark purple hole.

"Whoa, what the hell?" asked Abe. Then, he got sucked in.

Abe Lincoln screamed ass he felt himself propel forward in another year. The year was…2014!? What the…He was time traveling? How was this happening?

Suddenly, he felt himself drop onto some shaggy carpeting, the same carpet in the oval office! Abe got up and looked around. He was back in the white house. Wha…? Was he having a dream?

He walked over to the desk where the president sat, and saw that his name wasn't on the plaque! Instead it said "Barack H. Obama".

"Who the hell is that asshole?" asked Abraham Lincoln, looking around, still. "And I sense he's a democrat, even worse!"

Suddenly, the doors leading to the oval office flew open, and there stood Barack Obama in all his glory.

'Oh my god,' though Abe Lincoln. "It's Barack Obama, and he's black! I guess maybe I did abolish slavery.'

Obama stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Abraham Lincoln.

"Holy shit, it's Abe Lincoln!" yelled Barack Obama.

"Holy shit, a black president!" yelled Abraham Lincoln.

Barack Obama walked over Abe Lincoln and put his hand on Abe's shoulder.

"I've been expecting you," said Barack, grinning. "I rigged up a time machine so I could bring you to a new century. I actually saved your life. If I didn't make you time travel, you would have been assassinated by John Wilkes Booth in 1865."

Abe Lincoln nodded his head. "I always though John was a lil' bastard," said Abe, nodding. "Holy cow, that's intense. Thank you for saving my life."

Barack looked "up" at the tall president and smiled again. "There's also another reason I brought you here."

"There is?" asked Abe.

"Yeah," said Barack. "And it's because my wife, Michelle Obama is being a bitch-ass ho again, and is sleeping with John McCain instead of me! That lady is cheatin' on me, Abe!"

Abe just stared blankly at him. "So how come I'm here, then?"

Obama gave an arrogant swagger and smiled, showing all his teeth.

"I haven't had sex with a man before, so I wanted to try it…" said Obama. "And with my wife bein' a bitch and not noticing me, it'll work out!"

Abraham looked at him like Barack had just let the biggest fart in history.

"Whaa…?" Abe said.

Barack Obama gave him a hug. "Please Abe? Oh, and everybody in history knows the gay relationship you had with Speed."

Abraham Lincoln almost wanted to scream, but he just kept it to swallowing a big gulp.

"How did you know that?"

"Because we've got so many history books, Abe," said Barack Obama.

Abe was wondering how the hell there could be history books about him being assassinated, abolishing slavery, and all that other junk if he was standing here right now! How was this all happening?

He wasn't sure if he wanted to think about it.

Barack Obama suddenly kissed him on the cheek. "Let's go to my bedroom. I've got some err…cologne for you to try out and I want to see if you like it."

"Okay," said Abe Lincoln, falling in love with Barack Obama.

They walked to the presidents bedroom, and it was a beautiful place!

"I'll be right back to get the cologne…" said Barack Obama. "Oh, and uh…feel free to get naked if you wish. I'll just uh…be back in a minute!" Barack rushed in the bathroom, leaving Abe Lincoln by himself in the presidents bedroom. He smiled. And the president asked him to get naked! Boy, he would be naked all right!

He took off all his clothes and masturbated to the thought of him and Barack in bed together NUDE. He got under the covers so he could surprise Barack Obama when he came back. Boy oh boy, this was going to be awesome!

Abraham smiled when he saw Obama come out of the bathroom with some cologne. He still had all his clothes on. 'Damn,' though Abe.

Barack Obama knew right away Abraham Lincoln had taken off all his clothes, as his clothes were all over the floor, and it looked like he was masturbating in the bed. 'Oh boy!' Barack Obama thought. 'This is great! He's following up with my plan!'

Obama smiled back.

"Oh hoho, your clothes are on the floor," said Obama, slyly.

'Not much of a surprise anymore,' Abe thought. 'Shit!'

Obama put his hands on his belt. "I'm horny, Abe. You can come out of the covers. I don't mind."

Abraham Lincoln resisted for a moment, but the seductive voice of Barack Obama was turning him on. He slowly pulled the covers down and revealed himself to Barack.

Barack Obama looked down at the other president. Abe had very long, hairless, skinny legs, interesting arms, a scrawny chest, thin stomach, and just an average-size penis. Nothing very special about it.

"Wow," Obama said, looking at Abe's body. "You're just average."

Abraham Lincoln felt insulted. He looked at Obama. Obama seemed like he was skinny, too! So why was he mocking the him?

"Let me see what YOU look like then," said Abe.

"Okay," said Barack Obama, slipping off all his clothes until he was nude.

Abraham Lincoln was shocked beyond belief.

Barack Obama was muscular, everywhere. He had big, muscular arms with veins, a HUGE barrel chest, an awesome six-pack HUGE thighs, muscular legs, and a well-endowed twenty-three inch long cock.

"Holy shit!" Abe exclaimed.

Obama smiled. "Thank you. My wife said I could've been a porn star. Better then Ron Jeremy. But I just decided to become the prez, since I didn't have anything else to do."

Abraham Lincoln just stared.

Obama grasped his huge meat in both his hands. "This makes Michelle Obama's pussy squirt like crazy. She's like a big milk machine when it happens! I've given her so many orgasms, Abe, it hurts."

Abraham Lincoln's anticipation had suddenly gone away. Seeing Barack's huge cock was now making him frightened. Jesus Christ, the thing was a goddamn monster! Would it fit? Abraham Lincoln was suddenly very frightened.

"Will it fit?" he asked, nervously.

"Let's find out!" Obama exclaimed, before climbing on the bed, flipping the other president over, and shoved his big cock in Abe's ass.

Abraham Lincoln screamed bloody murder.

"Barack Obama!" exclaimed Abe. "You're huge meaty cock is ripping my sensitive hemorrhoids!"

Barack Obama ignored him, and kept pounding into the other president. Suddenly, Abe's pain had gone away, and it turned into pleasure! This was incredible. He didn't want Barack Obama to stop pounding his ass. This was better than his wife's hot cunt. Hell, this is better than sleeping with Speed! He kept gyrating hid hips back into Obama's cock so they could meet up. It was arousing Obama a lot, too. The tightness of Abe's ass was making him as horny as Casanova and Vlad the Impaler combined. God this was epic.

"Yo Abe…I've never felt a much tighter asshole in my entire life," said Barack Obama.

"How many assholes have you even penetrated?" asked Abe in shock.

"Oh, lots and lots and lots," said Barack. "You won't believe how many prostitutes I've fucked before I married Michelle."

Abraham Lincoln gasped. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. It made his stomach turn to mush just thinking about it! He elicit a small cough before wriggling his body back and forth a little bit.

"Are you okay?" asked Barack.

"Ugh…" said Abe. "Your dick is just so large. I'm surprised you haven't killed anybody with it. And are you taking steroids, JESUS! And Jesus Christ, your breathe smells like tobacco!"

"I smoke, idiot," said Barack, thrusting repeatedly, thrusting against Lincoln's prostate.

"Oh…I didn't know people…or presidents I should say still did that," said Abe, slightly confused.

Barack Obama was close to orgasm, but he was trying to hold back by talking politics with this strange yet intelligent president.

"You think that's the problem right now?" asked Barack. "The economy is going to hell right now! Hell, congress is going to hell right now! I'd rather be in your place in time than mine."

"Oh don't say such a thing!" scolded Abe. "Believe me, I've had to go through some tough shit being president. I was president during a war FOR FUCKS SAKE."

"I know that. So am I," said Barack Obama. "We're in war with Iraq and Afghanistan."

"What're those places?"

"Nevermind…"

The rest was silence of thrusting except with a few occasional moans, mostly from Barack…but then…

"OH GOD!" screamed Obama. "SO CLOSE! GODDAMN SO CLOSE!"

"You asshole!" cried Abraham Lincoln. "I haven't even been properly stimulated, yet!"

"I don't care," said Obama. "You had your chance! But don't worry…I'll give you something else…later."

And then…Barack Obama came.

**The End of Chapter One! I will publish Chapter Two soon! It shall be up in less than a week.**


	2. Chapter 2-A New Identity

THIS IS PART TWO OF THE BARACK x LINCOLN FANFIC. THIS FANFIC IS UNDER MY COPYRIGHT AND NOBODY ELSE'S GOT THAT? THIS ROMANCE WAS PUT TOGETHER BY **funnybunny16**, UNDER MY COPYRIGHT. WITHOUT FURTHER ADO…LET'S CONTINUE ONTO CHAPTER TWO. _

Barack Obama and Abraham Lincoln were sitting in Barack's private room where a roaring fireplace was blazing. They had locked the doors so that bitch Michelle couldn't get in. The room was atmospheric and conferrable. Abraham Lincoln was mesmerized by the fire. Barack turned to him and smiled. He tried to put his arm around Lincoln.

Lincoln jumped away.

"Don't touch me!" Lincoln cried out. "Not after yesterday. I didn't orgasm after that anally penetrative-sex."

Obama rolled his eyes and turned back to the fire, his face lacking concern for the poor Republican president.

"Don't worry about that," said Obama. "You'll get used to my girth."

Lincoln looked at him in pure shock.

"Oh what?" he exclaimed. "Seriously? You think I'll get accustomed to that two-foot long monster!? Jesus, you could hang somebody with that thing."

Obama laughed, finding Abraham Lincoln's joke funny…even though to Abe it wasn't particularly a joke. Abraham looked at the laughing president in pure shock.

"I wasn't joking!" cried the six foot-tall president.

"I know that," said Obama. "It just sounds so funny."

There was a strange, disturbing silence after that, then Obama scotched closer to Abe, startling the other president.

"What the…what are you doing here?"

Obama firmly wrapped his arm around the skinny president, and firmly pulled his head into his lap. The skinny president stopped his struggling but instead sat still, waiting for what would happen next.

"You are not my slave, Abe…" he cooed, stroking the tall president's scraggly hair. Abraham Lincoln put a hand up to his bearded chin, but Obama pulled his hand down.

"You're not my slave, Abe. You're going to be my new husband."

Lincoln was suddenly startled out of his trance and sat upright, staring wide-eyed at the dark-skinned president (and I'm not being racist, idiots).

"Whaaa-Whaaat…" said Abe, so flabbergasted that he could not speak.

Obama put his hand on Abraham's hand. "We'll have the perfect life together. We can adopt a son and name his Geoffrey. I think we'd have the perfect life together. I'll replace that asshole punk Joe Biden with you. It'll be a perfect life! How does that sound?"

Abraham Lincoln was lost for words now. He didn't even have the faith to smack the president right on the spot.

"But Barack!" Abraham Lincoln cried out. "We…We-We can't! You're married and I'm married! And also, the country will think we're horrible when they find out."

"No they won't, Abe," said Obama. "Gay people are getting married right now. I passed a bill about it…and it passed in every state except North Carolina."

Abraham Lincoln was still shocked about the idea.

"I don't know Barack. We'll see…"

…

Michelle Obama was walking around the agriculture pet fairgrounds. She was busy petting the rabbits and goats. She loved this kind of stuff! She found it kind of odd that her husband didn't want to go with her. He liked this kind of stuff, too. Maybe he was just tired of politics after a while is all.

'After he gets out of that stupid office, I'm never going into politics again,' Michelle thought to herself as she walked over to pet the piglets. 'I'm just done.'

She had left her two daughters at the white house playing with their puppy. They were pretty occupied, so Michelle just left them alone. But she did recall one time hearing them whisper back and forth to each other. It was when they were in their bedrooms, playing with their dog.

"Hey, Sasha," Malia whispered to her younger sister. "Do you think daddy's been acting kind of…strange lately?"

Sasha nodded in agreement. "Yes. I think it has something to do with him activating the portal of wanderlust."

Michelle had put her ear to their bedroom door. 'Portal of wonderlust?' she thought. 'What is that supposed to be?'

Malia giggled. "He has a fascination with portals. He told me one time that when it was completed, he was going to make a famous person travel in it to our modern time."

Sasha gasped. "Nobody ever tells me anything." She said. "Who was that famous person going to be?"

Malia put a hand up to her chin, tapping at it while she thought. "I think dad said it was going to be a guy who liked black people. He also said that it should be a president. He was thinking it would Dwight Eisenhower. Then…he thought about another president."

"Maybe he could summon a president from the future," said Sasha.

"Dad said you can only make the portal travel to and from the past," said Malia.

"Cool!" said Sasha. "Who do you think the lucky president will be chosen?"

"I don't know. We'll just have to wait and see."

Michelle remembered being dumbfounded by that strange conversation. She was hoping that it was all their in their heads…their imaginations. But…it sounded so real. And technology these days was getting better and better. Michelle also wondered to herself why her husband would want to bring a president from the past into the future. Hmph! It seemed very suspicious to her now that she thought of it.

She would have to start investigating this once and for all!

…

Joe Biden was furious. The president hadn't communicated with him for several days! He felt as if the president himself was ignoring him! He felt he should be treated better.

He left his office and rushed to the oval office where Barack Obama was sitting at his desk with his shoeless feet on the desk, kicked back with a limeade vodka in his hand.

"Barack Hussein Obama!" Joe Biden cried. "What is the meaning of this!?"

That jerked Obama out of his daze. He sat upright, spilling the vodka all over his new suit. He sighed a big relief, knowing that Joe Biden didn't know about Abraham Lincoln in the white house, yet.

"Good morning, Joe!" said Obama with glee. "How have you been?"

"Terrible!" the vice-president cried. "I feel as if I'm being ignored! You haven't communicated with me in the last two weeks! What is going on?"

Before Obama could respond, Lincoln opened the oval office door and stepped in unexpectedly.

"Hey, Barack. I found these papers about screwing over white-trash conservative so I thought I should bring-

He stopped short when he saw the vice-president, staring at Abraham Lincoln in shock. Barack Obama started shaking all over, wondering what he could even say or do at this point. He just waited for the next thing to happen.

"Oh my fucking god is that Abraham Lincoln!?" cried Joe Biden.

"No!" Barack shouted abruptly. "It's-It's…uhh…"

"That's Abraham Lincoln, isn't it!?" cried Joe Biden, pointing at the skinny president, who was waiting for Barack to say something to get him out of the mess.

"How the hell could that be Abraham Lincoln?" Obama lied. "Time travel doesn't exist."

"Then who is this?" asked Joe Biden.

"Oh er…uh…that's my best friend visiting all the way from...uh, France. His name is uh…well, Harvey W. Durving. _Yeah…that's it. _Joe, this is Harvey Durving, Harvey, this is Joe Biden."

Abraham Lincoln sighed in relief as he held out his hand to Joe Biden. "Hello, mr. Vice president.

Joe Biden didn't shake the hand, instead look up at Abe in shock. "You look just like Abraham Lincoln. That's funny." He walked out of the oval office, not getting from Barack what he wanted mumbling "He looks like Abe L. That is so strange. I must be losing my mind…I must…"

Barack walked up to the oval office door and closed them abruptly. Turning to face Abraham Lincoln with seething anger.

"I told you to stay in my study, the bedroom, anywhere in the east hall…but you disobey and come in here. You were so close to getting ME in trouble!"

"Well, sor-ry stupidhead," said Abraham Lincoln, crossing his arms. "But I'm not the one who wanted to come to this era, anyway! And why am I forbidden into forclosure in small spaces?"

"I already told you why!" cried out Obama. "I don't want people to see you! You'll get me in trouble."

Abraham Lincoln finally nodded in agreement after some rapid thinking.

"From now on you will be addressed as Harvey W. Durving when around other people. I'll call you Abe when it's just you and me, so you'll still have your name…just not around other people. Got it?"

"I guess so…" said Abraham, not liking the idea at all. His name was going to be Harvey! A name he never heard of before and it sounded so cheap and shitty.

"What does the 'W' initialized for, anyway?" asked Abraham.

Obama started to think. He hadn't thought of that. He just threw that initial in there because it sounded cool."

"Uhh…Winifred," said Obama.

"That's a girl name, you idiot."

"Okay! Okay. Then your middle name will be Westley. There! Case closed."

"Harvey Westley Durving. That sounds really bad!" said Lincoln. "I feel embarrassed with a name like that."

"I think you'll get accustomed to it quite easily, Abe," said Obama, smiling. "Honestly, having two identities is really cool. Putin has one. It's Pooty-poot. George Bush gave him that name because he thought it was cliché."

"Who's Putin?" asked Abe.

"Never mind," said Obama. "I guess there's a lot I still need to teach you."

"I was always a good reader," said Lincoln. "When do we start?"

"You don't need to be a good reader for THIS kind of lesson, honest Abe," chuckled Barack Obama.

"Then how are you going to-

"Shhh," said Barak, putting two fingers up to Lincoln's lips. "I'm a professional here. Just relax, and let me do the teaching."

…

Malia and Sasha were walking around the white house, holding hands, with their puppy dog following close behind them. Malia looked at Sasha and smiled broadly.

"Oh Sasha," Malia said. "You've always been such a beautiful girl."

"Thank you, Malia…" said Sasha. "You're also very beautiful."

Malia suddenly pulled Sasha's face close to hers. "I think we should make this sisterly relationship to the next level. I love you so much, Sasha. I-I I can't live without you."

"Oh Malia…" cooed Sasha, embracing her sister. They started making out in the hallway of the White House…near their parents' bedroom! This was so hot! They wanted to make their relationship a strong one. One that would bond them together…forever.

"Sasha, I'm a lesbian," said Malia with a dreamy look in her eyes.

"Malia, I am, too," said Sasha, rubbing her body against hers. They continued into long, dreamy make out session. They then looked into each others' eye's. Tonight was the night. They would start their deep bonds in their bedroom. They had planned this night out for weeks. They had wanted a wonderful night where nobody could disturb them. And tonight would be a full moon…something that would make their sex even more magical.

Sasha was about to reach her hand down Malia's pants, when they suddenly heard the sound of loud grunting from their father's bedroom.

They stopped kissing right away and started giggling.

"Mom and dad are probably having sex in there!" giggled Malia.

"Let's listen!" Sasha said and smiled as they both put their ears to the door and listened closely.

…

"Ow!" cried Abraham Lincoln as Barack Obama penetrated his asshole deep. "Ouch! What kind of lesson do you call this!? I thought you were going to do something else."

"Don't pretend you don't love this!" cried Barack, thrusting into Lincoln's ass, knocking the tall president's head back and forth in rigorous motions. "You sure were obedient when I asked you to take your clothes off."

Sasha and Malia, who were listening on the other side of the door, gasped in pure shock and disbelief.

"Daddy's in there with another man," whispered Malia, barely containing her tone from screaming. "This is pure mutiny."

"Who's he in there with?" asked Sasha.

"How am I supposed to know?" Malia exclaimed. "Whoever it is, he sounds rather hostile."

"Maybe daddy's raping him."

"No…definitely not," said Malia. "The guy in there sounds like he's a bit older. And the more I think about that the more it just makes me want to go die."

"Daddy's fucking a senior citizen!" exclaimed Sasha. "Fuck, I thought just sleeping with a guy was gross…but a senior citizen. Blech!"

"No, Sasha," said Malia. "Not that old. But I want to know who this man is. I'm going into that bedroom whether it's a polite thing to do or not. Are you coming in with me?"

Sasha was scared, and started shaking. Her dad was cheating on their mother by sleeping with a guy. She found this so nightmarish! She was terrified to go in…the consequences that could happen when they stepped in. But she so desperately wanted to know.

"Yeah sure, I'll go…"

"Okay. Good," said Malia, who's slippery fingers gripped the knob slowly. She gulped quickly, then thrust open the door.

**Well, that's the end of Chapter 2. Chapter 3 will be uploaded very shortly. I know I left off on a cliffhanger, so tune in next week for some more. What do you think will happen next? Review and Fave please!**


End file.
